one month in : setting the pace

(originally published august 12, 2022 via my Buy Me A Coffee page)

It's officially been a month and I'm truly wondering where time has gone! Last weekend I also celebrated seven years of living in Austin, Texas! Making note of all of these "leap of faith" moments have been wild to me. I'm seriously so grateful for your support, which has helped me show up and get from one state to the other week after week.

There were so many points I wanted to touch on in this post, but I forgot to save my first draft, so here we are. Although still wrestling to get the compositions of these larger pieces just right, I've somewhat found a flow in this space. Moving from wall to wall, table to table, sketchbook to canvas, hands covered in paint and then dusty with pastels. Sometimes the air is filled with music from my favorite playlist, and most days it's been filled with silence. There's even a small park down the street, fenced in by tall, bright yellow sunflowers that I escape to from time to time in order to clear my head, or write these posts.

One thing about traveling and living in different spaces, you quickly learn that you are very much always taking you with you. It's a humbling, enlightening, sometimes even frustrating feeling. God and I have been going over a lot these days. Like, what does restorative rest mean to me - and what does it mean to God? How does not speaking up for yourself and your needs + self abandonment go hand in hand? What prayers have I been holding onto with open hands, or manipulative hands? Is the risk of loving & creating art worth this much? Will I be okay if nothing but a grand therapy session comes out of this almost three month experience? And what can all of this look like within a painting.

I've had this running theme this year of giving most paintings its name and then working at seeing its breakthrough, layer by layer, step by step. Lots of internal workings over here. But all good thoughts to marinate in with hopefulness, nonetheless. My hands are moving, and even within all the questions, I'm at ease here.

studio wall encouragements

I've enjoyed being able to work out design and composition in such a quick and non-committal way with these

Here's a short recap of the last week :

Til next week in Jersey,

A

week 3 : recalibrate

(originally published august 3, 2022 via my Buy Me A Coffee page)

Honesty hour ~ It was a week of recalibrating. I had hit a wall and had to admit that the commute I chose for this leg of the residency was not sustainable - at least not for a five day work week. It took a moment to fully convince myself, but I settled on going into the studio 3 to 4 days a week until my time in Brooklyn is over, using that extra weekday for exploring New York (the NY Public Library is on the list this week). After I welcomed and released my guilt I’ve been enjoying the process and my time so much more. Rest is good. Restoration is good. Filling up your cup is so very good.

I chose this opportunity for a handful of reasons - gathering inspiration, exploring, slowing down (even in the midst of this crazy fast-paced city) are just parts of that decision. It took a very tired mind and body to remember that, but I’m glad I did.

Some things that have filled me up in the last week :

• caught a Braxton Cook show at Blue Note Jazz Club

• popped in and out of art galleries with a friend in the Chelsea District

• came across a tap dancing rehearsal at Little Island (there's just so much creativity happening everywhere around this city. it's kind of unreal)

• finding out an artist that I like, Eryn Allen Kane, was playing a free show at Central Park

• stumbling upon a bilingual church service and taking my time perusing another Brooklyn neighborhood

although not a new practice, loosening up my hand and mind by way of doing quick composition practices / doodles have been helpful in getting out of my head

a home in Manhattan - the craftsmanship and patient detail that went into so much of the architecture here has been so inspiring. every detail counts. I've been asking how I can continue to carry that into my art

a lot of the larger paintings are in their "awkward teenage phase" where there's some hopefulness and a lot of discomfort. that's when going back and forth between large and small paintings come into play

Here’s a short clip of some studio and life moments of week 3.

-A

week 2 : the true settling in

(originally published july 27, 2022 via my Buy Me A Coffee page)

It's sort of wild to think I've closed in on two weeks today. It's been an absolute whirlwind of a time (good, stretching, and very very exhausting).

During the first week and a half of my time in the studio I had been sharing a wall, and AC via an open door with a dance troupe. It was really fascinating to walk past and see how they create so much beauty with their bodies and form. Additionally, it also became sweet to see familiar faces every day. It did, however, become a bit challenging considering their practice music was set at performance volume and I quickly realized that in the last nine years of painting I've been creating alone, in silence, or my own music, with some sort of control of my environment. I had to learn to adapt (& show up on Saturdays when I knew I would be able to sit and think in silence).

Silence, quiet, stillness, slowing down has to be fought for these days. I've been making the trek from Brooklyn to Manhattan to Jersey City about 4 to 5 days out of the week, and as vibrant and bustling as these cities are, it's been a trek, both physically and on the senses. The background and foreground noises build on top of each other quite quickly. Honking, construction, passionate conversations, music pulsating through multiple speakers, so many different languages being spoken. I'm learning that I'm going to need to find more intentional ways to breathe and process all that goes around me and within me everyday. But I've so enjoyed taking in the historical and exquisitely detailed architecture along the way. I could walk the neighborhoods all day long if I could.

these brownstone details!

many miles away from my record player but still need to build the collection. found this Stevie album at Black Star Vinyl in Brooklyn

sculptural art found at Brooklyn Bridge Park

In the studio

The separation of home and studio has had a great positive impact on my ability to focus and see work through a little further and quicker than when I was creating at home. There are two larger pieces I'm working my way around, and a new idea I'm playing with on the side. Since I'm not painting on stretched canvas (canvas tightly stretched and stapled on a wood frame), I've had to give the larger paintings more patience than I would otherwise since I can't freely hang up, lay out, flip and turn the art as quickly had they been stretched.

I needed a process that was more tactile. A process that would allow me to construct, destruct, and be more attuned to the energy I needed to release. The forever buzzing energy of all the cities I walk through everyday. These small constructed paintings have been a great start for me and a helpful way to continue creating with a different part of my brain as the larger pieces lay on the floor or hang on the wall behind me.

I'm really excited about where these are headed. My aim is to complete one every week I'm here

Here's a short clip of some studio & life moments of my second week. While checking out an event at the Brooklyn Bridge Park I definitely had a "wow, I can't believe I get to live here" moment.

As the questions and doubts, maybe even a bit of loneliness begin to creep in, this excerpt quote has been encouraging.

“Do it; don’t judge it. The longer you do creative work, the more you realize mood has nothing to do with it. Artists are life processors. Life processors cursed with opinions. One day, we’ll like what we create. One day (more days), we will hate it. Keep on making things long enough and you will learn, to your embarrassment, that the good work and the bad are often not so far apart. In fact, some of your bad work looks pretty good. And some of your good work, well…

So you might as well just do it, and do it stubbornly, and do it all the time. Because mood is a slippery thing and what it tells you cannot be trusted—but process can. And process is the reward of patience.”

“Don’t confuse the end result with the process. Process is what gives us credibility. Just process. (And, yes, process takes patience.) As creative beings we must learn, and therefore practice, patience.

I do not mean passivity, which is frequently mistaken for patience. It is passivity that tells us not to fight for our work. It is passivity that takes “no” for a final answer. Passivity is exactly that: pass-ive. We take a pass on growth on our own behalf. Patience is very different. Patience is not the acceptance of weakness. It is the quiet, slow, deep funding of strength.”
—Julia Cameron, “Vein of Gold”

Thank you for your support

Thank you for being here

-A